Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at http://winefordix.blogspot.com

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Billy's Best Bottles - Wines for 2006!



Yo Homey's and Wine Wannabees!

It's Christmas time again, and one thing you won't hear your humble Deacon ever sayin' is "Happy Holidays!" What the hell is that supposed to mean? No my friends...your Deacon only says "Merry Christmas!", and he says it joyfully too; no matter how politically incorrect the Babe in Bethlehem may become. And if you gotta problem with that, I got a triangle choke that'll change your attitude in a hurry, Jack!

Now down to business...Your Deacon of the Grape was up late reading the other night; a fairly common occurence at Fresh Manor. And what was the Deacon reading, you may ask? Billy Munnelly's latest and greatest offering, as shown in the attached picture to the right. This book be lurch!

Now many of my loyal followers are aware that as much as the Deacon verbally rips the metaphoric scrotums off the wine-snobs, he will never diss Billy. After all, Mr. Munnelly was my Second and Cut-Man for my fight with Robert Parker in Las Vegas a couple of weeks back (not that he had much work to do, the way I nailed that cracker in Round 1!) In fact, if truth be told, the Deacon sees Billy as a Mentor of sorts. Anyway...Billy's latest book, Billy's Best Bottles Wines for 2006 is available now, and I highly recommend you snag a copy! This is great stuff, and the Deacon draws regularly from Billy's knowledge when planning his own evenings with the Deaconess Fresh. You won't find cracker-jank pecker writing in this book, such as "The effervescent, but ludicrous jamminess approximates the salacious wink of a school marm about to enter menopause". No my friends, you'll get real knowledge for real people about real wine! Are you sick of heading out to the LCBO and shelling out 30 bucks for a bottle of monkey-water? Well this book will point you in the right direction. It's very user-friendly and divides wines according to your mood; not according to some mofo's idea of wine, that just turns out to be foul-tasting, litterbox, ass-clown, cracker, peckermonkey, burp-jive when you get it home and into your glass.

Here's the official skinny on this excellent book:

Everyone needs a little help with wine shopping, especially over the holidays.Wine writer Billy Munnelly has the solution. Spread holiday cheer for only twenty bucks! Take the stress out of choosing wine for the holiday season with 'Billy┬╣s Best Bottles - Wines for 2006. It's the ideal gift or stocking stuffer for anyone who enjoys wine, or who would like to.
The latest edition of Munnelly's wine buying handbook, 'Billy's Best Bottles - Wines for 2006' is hot off the press. It could be the best twenty dollars you spend this season - on yourself or a fellow wine-lover. 'Billy's Best Bottles - Wines for 2006' is the most user-friendly wine book available. All of Munnelly's picks are easily found in the liquor store - and each wine featured is shown with its label. All wines are classified by MOOD - a novel approach that makes shopping dead-easy for the reader to make the best wine choice for the situation. Half of the selections (there are over 200 this year) cost less than $13, and many cost less than $10.This book is useful to everyone, even the novice, because Munnelly uses everyday language to interpret wine. Besides tips on what to buy, this colourful handbook also contains down-to-earth information about pairing wine and food, planning a party, glassware, and basic do's and don'ts. Munnelly also gives a country-by-country analysis of what's going on in the world of wine and gives straight-ahead answers to many frequently asked questions about wine. With loyal followers coast to coast, Billy's handy guide has become an eagerly anticipated favourite. Munnelly does not try to tell you everything about wine. Just the the bits that are important and useful. "My idea is to get you the best times, not impress you with tons of wine crap."Billy Munnelly has been delivering lighthearted and enlightened wine advice to Canadians for the past twenty-five years. Before taking up drinking full time, the Irish-born bon vivant owned and operated restaurants including the original Rosedale Diner in Toronto and Rundles in Stratford.

So pick up a copy. In fact, pick up a couple of dozen copies as gifts for those special people on your Christmas list! Here's his website so you can order online:

http://www.billysbestbottles.com/bbb_handbook/handbook.html

And here's the coolest part: If you tell them the Deacon sent you, and use the Deacon's catch phrase: "You heard me!" you'll get $5.00 off the regular price!

You heard me.

Deacon Dr. Fresh

Because you need this book...and so do I!

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