Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

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World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The Deacon Descends on Grano Restaurant!


Greetings All and Sundry!

Your Humble Deacon and the Deaconess have just returned from celebrating their friend Jane's 50th birthday with 10 other people. Jane picked Grano at 2035 Yonge Street. At first, your Deacon's hopes were not high, as some of the reviews I'd seen online were unflattering to say the least, with complaints about the service, the wine list and of course the food. But after spending 4 hours in their lovely and quaint surroundings, consuming adequate wine and excellent food I can only surmise the following: The negative reviews were written by jealous mofo jank cracker-monkey peckers who don't know Jack about fine dining! After a round of the Deacon's favourite Veuve Clicquot Champagne, I sampled a glass of the house red, which was a rustic Montepulciano d'Abruzzo. The Deaconess tried an Italian Chardonnay that was a refreshing change from the plywood overdose you get so often these days. Bread arrived first, and 3 olive oils were provided, one of them supplied to or by the Vatican. (I never got it straight) The antipasto was abundant and fresh and the calamari was to die for; especially the dry, lightly floured type. This was served with none of the typical North American jank ketchup dipping sauce that McDonalds will no doubt provide when they start serving McCalamari. Instead, the only accompaniment was fresh wedges of lemon. The Deacon ordered a bottle of the house white from an impressively long list, which fit perfectly with his ravioli with gorgonzola and truffles, and the Deaconess' Sea Bass. The ravioli was truly lurch with just a hint of truffle flavour - at about a billion dollars a pound, what do you expect? The Deaconess is picky. She gave the Sea Bass an average but not great review, as she didn't enjoy battlin' with the skeleton. Dessert consisted of a shared white chocolate raspberry tart that was very good, especially to white chocolate experts like the Deacon. We spent the entire evening in a private room where our witty waiter Tom took good care of us. (He once appeared in a commercial for Big Brothers with the Amazing Kreskin. How frickin weird is that?) Go check out Grano for yourself. Don't go in a rush though. It's not that kind of place. They aren't slow, it's just laid back. All in all, it was a really good meal. For a fun Italian dinner with some friends, this is the place.

Deacon's final score: 8.5

You heard me.

Deacon Dr. Fresh

Bane of Wine Snobs Everywhere

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