Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Robert Parker in Toronto to Sign Fight Deal!

Greetings Children of the Vineyard!

The wheels are definitely in motion. Your humble Deacon spoke with Nosey Parker late last night regarding our upcoming fight in the Octagon. (See previous postings for details) The Deacon was able to record the conversation, some of which is transcribed for you here:

Deacon: you are accepting and we're set to go?
Parker: Uh...yes...I'm prepared to name any vintage you put before me...
Deacon: No, Cracker! Are you ready to face me in the Octagon?
Parker: ...Oh that...yeah...I guess...November 19th right?
Deacon: Yeah. Now listen Mofo...I just got off the phone from Mandalay Bay and I'm wondering if it's big enough for the both of us. Another option is the MGM Grand. They have a huge venue too. This is gonna sell out you know!
Parker: Right...right...wherever...
Deacon: So who's gonna be your second? Are you going with Mondavi?
Parker: (sounds depressed and vague) probably wouldn't survive it at his age...I'll find someone though...I'm looking at the Australian Flying Wine Doctors for a good cut-man...
Deacon: Ok. So you'll come to Toronto when?
Parker: Next week...probably the 27th of October...But look! We have to cover this somehow. Nobody can know I'm in Toronto signing a fight-deal!
Deacon: Well what about that Grand Cru Culinary Wine Festival that the crackerjack mofos didn't invite me to? You can claim you're in town for that, right? I mean those fifteen hundred a ticket crackerjack, peckerwood, jank-mofos would love to have you there, right?
Parker: That's true...ok...that'll be our cover...We'll meet when I'm in Toronto...I'll call you from the airport and you can pick me up.
Deacon: Yeah, and you can bite me! Grab a cab! Put your hand in your pocket for once, Cracker!
Parker: ...Ok...yeah... see you...(hangs up)

So keep watching the news. More as the story develops.

You heard me.

Deacon Dr. Fresh
Uninvited Guest of Crand Cru Culinary Wine Festival


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deacon Dr Fresh--

Glad you liked our Unfiltered Pinot Noir (and the '04's will be excellent as you suggest). If you'd like to taste our killer 02 Speck Family Reserve Pinot (1 kg/vine -- basically 1 bottle per vine) please send me an e-mail. I'll be at the Gourmet Show and will try to arrange a taste if you're around. Zoltan and Billy are both familiar with it if you haven't had a chance to try it. It's also available through Vintages or the winery.

Daniel Speck

1:26 PM  
Blogger Deacon Dr. Fresh said...

Yo Daniel:

Thanks for the invite. The Deacon firmly believes that the Niagara terroir is capable of producing some truly great Pinot Noir. Henry of Pelham has produced the lurchest one to date.

See you at the Expo!

You heard me.

Deacon Dr. Fresh

1:48 PM  

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