Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Bulldog Chambers to Handle Deacon's Security!



Yo Wassup People?

This just in:

Noted "motorcycle enthusiast" and local bike gang-leader, Bulldog Chambers has volunteered to oversea the Deacon's extensive security for the upcoming Deacon vs. Robert Parker Wine Fight at the MGM Grand. Those of you who've been payin' attention know this is gonna be one sumbitch bloodbath and will determine once and for all who is the World's Greatest Wine Writer. "I volunteered because the Deacon is The Man" said Bulldog, interviewed by CFRB's John Moore earlier yesterday. "If that sumbitch mofo cracker-monkey tries any foreign-object stuff he's gonna have me to deal with. Obviously, he's never been punched in the face by a 250 pounder" Bulldog continued in a voice rich with warm menace. Bulldog is enroute to Las Vegas on his Harley Davidson as I write this. When asked by Moore why he wouldn't fly he responded "Parker's the type who'd be waiting out in the Mid West with a Stinger missile to bring down my plane. He'll do anything to try to beat the Deacon."

Stay tuned...More as the story develops...

Deacon Dr. Fresh

Protectin' you from the Mofos

posted by Deacon Dr. Fresh | 1:27 PM

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