Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Deacon Visits Keswick!!!

Greetings my dear friends. What a great experience this has been! After a number of humourless readers complained that I was constantly "trashing Keswick", I decided to check it out for myself, and had to admit I was wrong...Keswick is NOT a dull, cultureless wasteland. It's actually a thriving cosmopolitan mini-city, with no need to interact with the outside world at all.

Mayor John-David "Rick" Jeeter, seen in the photo with the Keswick District Health Officer and the World Junior Snowmobile Jump Champion, took me for a spin around the mini-city on the official Mayoral vehicle: an all-weather, curb climbing, luxury snowmobile, for a whirlwind tour of educational fun and thrills!

Here's what I learned:

Far from being cultureless, Keswick has its share of celebrities. Noted actor and comedian, Jim Carrey temporarily lived in a trailer in Jackson's Point, only a short drive from Keswick. Glen Toulin, the brilliant jew's harp and musical saw player once lived in Keswick for an entire summer, and 2 time Southern Ontario Crokinole Champion, the late Dave Ellings lived near Keswick all his life. The mini-city is very picturesque, with a marsh, a snowmobile parts dealer and a Seven Eleven that stocks everything you need, from white bread to dew-worms and snowmobile parts. Every winter, from October to May, the second largest snowmobile picnic in the world takes place out on Cooke's Bay. Only Kirkland Lake has a larger one! Here, local mechanics and parts dealers drink beer and tell hilarious stories about people crashing through the ice and washing up on the beach in June. There is a prize for the best decorated snowmobile, and the locals drink the favourite Keswick cocktail: hot chocolate and beer! If you've never had a hot cup of this gut warming potion, try it with a fresh chunk of bass on a slice of white bread. Then head up to the Stephen Leacock Theatre, which is being bulldozed to make room for the Dave Ellings Crokinole Arena. It's easy to find - just follow the line of make-shift snowmobile crash crucifixes and head north! And make sure you stick around for the Canadian Ice Fishing Championships!

Keswick also has a library, although it's technically in Jackson's Point. It's open every Wednesday, rain or shine, and here you can borrow perennial favourites, like The Dummy's Guide to Ski-doos or The Idiot's Guide to Snowmobile Crashes. Keswick's thriving nightlife is something you have to see to believe! His Worship took me for a ride down the Main Street sidewalk where we played "Scare the Senior" and then it was off to the late night butcher's shop to watch the new meat slicer in action. She's a lovely girl. Saturday mornings are spent recovering from Friday night's snowmobile crash, or simply polishing the Polaris with an appropriate wax from Canadian Tire. The big entertainment on Sunday is watching the traffic lights change. (It happens at noon, if you don't want to miss it.) The Keswick Congregational Church holds outdoor services all year, so you don't even have to climb off your all terrain vehicle or Snowjet!

Here are some fascinating Keswick facts:

Did you know...

  • Mary Dales at 82 is the oldest person in Keswick?
  • One of the houses in town is thought (by some) to be haunted?
  • More hot chocolate and beer is consumed per capita in Keswick than any comparable city?
  • There are an estimated 60 tons of snowmobiles on the bottom of Cooke's Bay?
  • Keswick has the highest person to book ratio on the planet?
  • The official game of Keswick is not ice hockey, but crokinole?
  • The Keswick Snow Collision Hospital has a first rate Testicle Trauma Ward?
  • Although Keswick is known primarily for "snowmobiles on the sidewalk", 87% of Keswickians own Jet Skis too?
As we roared East on Morton Avenue, leaving the frozen wasteland of Cooke's Bay behind, I could hear the gunning of engines and the occasional impact and stifled scream as the good folk of Keswick celebrated the beginning of the weekend, well into the early evening.

"It's a great town, Your Worship" I said to Mayor John-David "Rick" Jeeter, as I cradled the commemorative Dave Ellings Crokinole Set I'd been presented with at the Seven Eleven / Mayor's Office.

"No Deacon. It's a thriving cosmopolitan mini-city" he responded. I dismounted the luxurious, air conditioned, Arctic Cat Icebuster and stared across the bay where the bright headlight glare of the bulldozers indicated the razing of the Stephen Leacock Theatre had begun.

A thriving cosmopolitan mini-city?

Damn right it is.

So visit Keswick. Come for the morning and stay all afternoon. Come for the crokinole and stay for the five pin bowling. Keswick's open all year round, and it never sleeps...
And make sure you grab a mug of hot chocolate and beer, and a slice of bass on white sandwich bread. Tell them the Deacon sent you.

Deacon Dr. Fresh
Supporting thriving cosmopolitan mini-cities everywhere

Creekside Rox the Deacon!

Good morning Boyz and Girlz!

Your Deacon here, with a much delayed article about one of my all time faves: Creekside Estate Winery!

The dudes in the picture are the Dynamic Duo of Ontario wine, namely Rob Power (standing) and Craig McDonald (drinking). But before we continue...

Hello to my millions of fanz from Greece to Colorado, you are loved! And of course, a special greeting to all you...wait for it...this is going to be a good rant...

All you Blackberry thumbing, Axe spraying, Bill Gates worshipping, Africa vaccinating, coffin saluting, Adirondack hiking, red meat, colon encrusted, DIX out there:

Exfoliate my Victory Garden!!!

Wow! That was excellent. And highly cathartic too...

So let's talk about Creekside...By now, my lurchest fanz have realized that I cannot be frickin' bought. Your humble Deacon only supports wines and wineries that he believes in. I go out of my way to not diss people; although I'm not above neck-cranking them if they realllllllllly bug me. My strongest criticism is...silence. If I don't like something, I just ignore it - like a certain winery that would love to have the Deacon support the rooster juice they call wine; they want my imprimateur, but it ain't gonna happen... So in the past, I've written up the fine wines of Coyote's Run, Henry of Pelham, Cave Spring, Colio, Norman Hardie, Huff, Stratus, Penninsula Ridge, etc., because they all do a great job and make highly lurch products.

And Creekside fits securely in the lurch product aisle
What y'all got with Rob and Craig, is a highly effective team that brings diverse ("different" for those of you in Keswick) skills to the table. Former sommelier and Ontario boy, Rob, graduated from the first class at Brock University's Cool Climate Oenology and Viticulture Institute. Our local gunslinger is joined by the Wizard of Oz, Craig, who has worked at 9 different wineries around the globe. Now your Deacon has a lot of boisterous Australian friends, but Craig's the laid-back type, and isn't necessarily going to call you gay, just because you own a vacuum cleaner or occasionally help out with the dishes.

But the wines...

It was my mentor, Billy Munnelly who introduced me to Rob and Craig as well as marketing wizard, Matt Loney, a couple of years back, and believe me, Creekside makes some fabulous stuff! Some of you will remember that I've been on a rant for sometime about how Shiraz will never do well in Ontario unless someone moves the earth closer to the sun, because Shiraz needs a lot of sunlight to develop fully.

Well...I was wrong! But as usual, I admit to being wrong, which is always the right thing to do. So if you really think about it, that kind of makes me right after all, so get off my case and bite my wand!

Creekside has made some Shiraz that's mindblowing! I don't know how they do it, and I aint axin', but one sip will convince you. Remember, this is a premium product. The 2005 Broken Press Shiraz is just incredible! The boyz use the time-honoured method of adding a splash of Viognier, which despite being a white grape, actually makes the wine darker and inkier. All the grapes come from their own vineyards at St. David's Bench. This'll run you just over 30 bucks, but it's worth every penny, and is the perfect bottle to impress that hot ho, so you can take her home for some boppin' in the beater! Zoltan gave it 4 1/2 stars out of 5, and that Hungarian knows his frickin' wine. Watch too for the 2006 Shiraz. Your Deacon hasn't tried it yet, but I've got every reason to believe it will be another killer.

Another really lurch wine is Laura's Blend White. This is a mix of 6 white grapes, including Riesling, Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio, Viognier and Muscat. The result is wonderfully startling! There are layers upon layers of complexity and flavours both local and tropical. They've just kissed it with oak too, instead of knockin' it dead with a sheet of frickin' plywood. This will run you about 18 bucks and deserves to be checked out. Typically, only Stratus' J.L. Groulx shows this kind of creativity, but Rob and Craig have stepped up to the plate and hit it out of the frickin' park!

I could go on and on about this exception
al boutique winery, but you need to check it out yourself. You can visit their website and online store by clicking here. Y'all tell them the Deacon sent you, and say yo wassup, to my homey Matt Loney. He'll take good care of y'all.

Congratulations Creekside, and thanks for keepin' it real.

Your Deacon has your back...

Deacon Dr. Fresh
Occasionally vacuuming, but not gay

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