Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Zsabos correct again! Canada gets thumbs up!

Yo Bruthahs, Sistahs, Whiteboys and Girlz!


In the port-splattered name of Jack Rackham, I greet y'all!

And I know you're expectin' this, so let's also send out a hearty "meine Kurbel bei├čen!" to all you butter swirlin', Texas Hold'em playin', ankle bitin', glans polishin', donut heads who just don't get it at all!

Well there's lots to rap about today. How about Jancis Robinson has just written up Canada's finest in the Financial Times, which in publication stature, is kind of like the Guns and Ammo of all things money related. You peckahs out there gots to realize that this lady carries dignity and authority; kind of like a Margaret Thatcher of Wine (although Jancis is much younger and better lookin'). And not only that, but the authoress of arguably the "world's greatest wine book", the Oxford Companion to Wine actually gave some of our finest fermented juice a suitably restrained but still visible thumbs-up!

Now I realize this comes as a huge boot to the bag of those of y'all who have spent the last few years dissin' Canadian wine while you keep swillin' the imported stuff; usually frickin' Yellowtail. In fact, it's been almost impossible to get some of you crackahs to even consider the fine wines that The Great White North produces. Instead, you kept your noses in the air and drank ABC, which is to say Anything But Canadian! Well get ready to eat this huge crow I'm cookin' up for you on my George Foreman Grill!
Jancis was out of the Canadian wine loop, due to an unmemorable experience with some Canuck white, back in the 1970's. Well fortunately, we had the likes of my homeys, Zoltan and John Szabo, tirelessly workin' in the background to promote some of the fine wines we've created in this fine country in the last few years. The Szabos have gone overboard to make Canadian wine accessible in fine retaurants and hotels, despite all the dix who said it couldn't and shouldn't be done.
The meeting between our finest fluids and Jancis Robinson was organized by the Szabos and Janet Dorozynski (pictured with Jancis and Zoltan), the wine promotion coordinator for the Ministry of Foreign Affairz and Internashunal Trade. This Magic Trio of Szabo, Dorozynski and Szabo arranged the initial list of 60 wines, so y'all know they were the real deal. Well Jancis chose her 10 favourites, #1 being Daniel Lenko 2002 Syrah (Shiraz to you dix out there). This of course was a huge surprise to your humble Deacon, who's spent the last couple of years saying that the Syrah grape will never amount to anything in Ontario; kind of like trying to make a workable screen door for a submarine. Well your Deacon's never afraid to admit he was wrong, and this time I was wrong! Well, maybe not exactly wrong, but not quite as correct as I might have been...and it takes a big man to say that, so you might as well say I was right! So there you have it: I was right all along! Syrah will never amount to anything in Ontario, unless you're Daniel frickin' Lenko. Now I'm not going to go on and on about how you peckerwaterpeckers should have been listening to the Szabos and even your Deacon (who's been a VQA freak from the beginning). I'll just quote Jancis Robinson herself:

"Now that Canada is producing world class wines, it is surely high time the industry educated Canadians properly about their own wines."

Did you catch that? "...Canada is producing world class wines..."

Wake up to what the Zsabos and a few others have been saying all along: We have a great local product. Let's uphold our own industry and work to raise the viniferic IQ of all the mofos who only drink Yellowtail.

You heard me.

Deacon Doctor Fresh
The thumb on the pulse of Canadian Wine

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