Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at

My Photo
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Deacon's Male Bag!

Yo Wassup Homeys?

Your humble Deacon here...rappin' and rockin' and havin' more fun than's good for a man!

You know I always be glad to hear from my fanz, and I read each and every adoring email I gets!

My last posting regardin' Fat Cat Bistro generated a lot of interest and I'm proud to 'nounce to you that my loyal list of subscribers has reached today the grand sum of 702! That's right! 702 people who get regular discrete updates from the Deacon Himself, so they never have to guess when this homey's posted somethin' wine-related and lurch! If y'all wants to be on the list and know what's going down before the crackahs do, just drop me a line at and I'll put y'all on the list!

So here we go for some cool nooz from the Freshest Winester on the block!

...and lest we's the compulsory greeting to all you poodle walkin', Prada wearin', Beemer washin', peace disturbin', beater-boppin', Tragically Dull listenin' DIX out there who don't have a clue what I'm rappin' bout, but keep on comin' back because I'm better than television!

Bite me crank!

So let's start by openin' my Male Bag...

Yo Deacon! I LOVE your blog. Thank God you're out there! I just spent an hour reading your back issues. Please don't leave us!
- Cassandra, Edmonton Alberta

Yo Cassie! Thanks for the kindness. Don't ch'all worry. Your Deacon aint goin' nowhere. Where else can you get this kind of wine litterassy? - DDF

Hello Dr. Fresh: Last Tuesday night I went down to Queen's Quay and found your boat, just where you said it would be, right next to Captain John's Seafood Restaurant. I tried to get onboard because I wanted an autograph, but this tall white dude wouldn't let us on the boat. He actually twisted my fiance's neck and threw him down between the boat and the dock. I think it was a bit excessive as Ricardo's dead now, but is there anyway to get an autograph?
- Joanna K., Mississauga, Ontario

Yo Jo! Sorry about the Bro! That would be Adam who done that. He get's kind of zealous sometimes, but I'm a Huge frickin' Star, so what do you expect? I requires high security. First of all, the Black Freighter's a ship. Boats are submarines. Secondly, if you or any of my readers email me I'll send you a signed photograph of your Humble Deacon, both free and gratis! - DDF

Hey Deacon...I'm really getting into screw caps and I agree that they make a better seal than corks. Has anyone used the kind of metal caps they put on pop bottles and beer bottles for wine? This is a serious question!
- Salvador S. , Milton, Ontario

Yo Sal! What you're talkin' bout are called crown caps. They've been around for years and have been used for wines. Some Australian sparklings have used them for closures. The problem is, most people are DIX and associate them with pop and beer instead of recognizing their efficiency. Don't expect to see many of them in the near future! - DDF

Good afternoon Deacon! I love your blog! Here's my question...What's the best music to listen to while reading your postings? -Howard Morris, Scarborough

Yo Ho Mo! I recommend y'all check out Deacon Radio! It's online 24 hours a day and is commercial free, bringin' you all the sounds of the Homeys! Here's the staion, so pass it on...

Deacon Radio

It's great for the workplace too!

That's all for today boyz and girlz!

Deacon Dr. Fresh
Wine DJ extraordinaire


Post a Comment

<< Home

Subscribe to Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter