Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at

My Photo
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

It's Official! Tim Atkins is a Pecker!

Yo Homeys! Wassup?

I'm so frickin' irritated that I'm actually skippin' my usual hilarious and extended greeting.

Here's a bit of interesting news...Observer Wine Expert Tim "Pecker" Atkins (shown in a future photograph on right) is apparently the most pompous, arrogant, jank-monkey in the frickin' universe!

A few days ago, this professional R-sole received an award in Verona Italy at the VinItaly event. The problem is, Tim "Pecker" Atkins went on a self-aggrandizing explication. He directly compared American wine writers to "mass market branded wine" and European writers to the "noble wines of terroir and a sense of place" bla bla bla. Apparently, we all need the remarkable British wine experts to steer a course through all this arcane and recondite knowledge. My homeboy, John Szabo was present, and unable to find a bag to vomit in, wound up leaving the event; as did others I might add. In fact Johnny (a normally peaceful man) was so angry that he contacted Jancis Robinson (The younger, better-looking, Margaret Thatcher of wine) in order to get "Pecker" Atkins' personal email, to set the record straight.

Well here's the bottom line, homeys...When y'all anger one of my family, you just done angered the Deacon hisself! I simply cannot let this lie, and so I'd like to announce a Challenge:

If this mofo, pecker-mofo, mofo-cracker, mofo-mofo thinks he knows so much about wine, let him respond to this...

I challenge Tim "Pecker" Atkins to join me in the Octagon for a bare knuckle fight and see who really "knows" frickin' wine! No eye-gouging or biting, but small-joint manipulation is legal and groin strikes are de rigueur. A good triangle-choke can change your state in a hurry, so come out and play, peckerdine...We'll see how much you really know. And rest assured, we'll take your refusal to fight as a tacit apology.

When I'm done with you, you won't know whether to wind your ass or scratch your watch!

You heard me Pecker.

Deacon Dr. Fresh
I always got my Canadian homeys' backs...


Post a Comment

<< Home

Subscribe to Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter