Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Best Wine After A Drive-By Shooting!

This just in:

"Yo Deacon. One o' my homeys got shot last night by some cracker mofo wieldin' a Smith and Wesson .40 calibre nickel-plate with semi wad-cutters. He caught a slug in the ankle and we're hookin' up with him tomorrow in the hospital to cheer him up. What's the best wine to drink after a sucessful drive-by?" - Rozeen, San Diego

Answer: Without a doubt you gotta go with the claret! Claret is the British term for all red Bordeaux and fits the bill perfectly as it also means "blood" in Olde English slang. Pick up a nice tannic red and celebrate his immanent recovery!

You heard me.

Deacon Dr. Fresh


Anonymous Rozeen - San Diego said...

Deacon! Wassup? We checked in at Alvarado Hospital to see our Homey and he's doin' just lurch! Me and Tonawanda took him 4 bottles of Chateau Rothschild 1996 and used his bedpan as a decanter. It turns out the shell frag hit his right tibia and stopped just in front of the Achilles tendon. The Claret was a big help! Thanks Doc!

8:56 PM  

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