Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

A Wine Newsletter With An Edge - Definitely NOT your typical white bread, mofo, cracker, peckerwood, jank, peckercracker wine newsletter! If this info is too advanced for you, check out my other newsletter: Wine for Dix at

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - The Buccaneer of Burgundy - The Prince of Pinot Noir - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, rooster juice peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me. Oh, and by the way...Bite me crank!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Do Goats Really Roam?

Yes they do! Tonight the Deacon cooked for his bride, the Deaconess Fresh. He went to the trouble of making medium-well roast beef with home-made garlic mashed potatoes, market carrots and hand-shucked peas. It was all served with a Goats do Roam Villages 2003. The Deaconess immediately went to work with her hamster power-nose to discern the grapacious components of the cuvee.
Here's what we found: Goats do Roam Village 2003 is not a great wine. But it's a good wine. The Deacon had the sense to decant it for an hour and run it through the magnetic field of the Flav-O-Ring, and the result was very nice indeed. Here's the evaluation from the nose and palate of the Deaconess:
"Smooth with gentle tannins. Not a lot of complexity, but a hint of black cherry and toasted marshmallows (toasted golden marshmallows on the nose, not burnt). Not a lot of length or finish, but pleasant in the mouth nonetheless."
I checked with the product consultant and the Village version of this South African Cotes du Rhone clone is the better buy. So spend the extra couple of bucks. It's worth it.
You heard me.
Deacon Dr. Fresh


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flav-o-ring? What the heck is that !!!!

8:28 PM  
Blogger Deacon Dr. Fresh said...

Yo! What's a Flav-O-Ring? Get with it Jack! Only the greatest invention since brass-knuckles! The Flav-O-Ring enables your wine to pass through a magnetic field, knocking an electron into a higher orbit. The result is a softening of highly tannic reds and an instant aging of coarser wines. The alternative is to live inside CERN's particle accelerator near Geneva like my brother-in-law Craig, who's practically an alcoholic and is risking his genitals daily. Buy a Flav-O-Ring! It has no effect on white wines and won't cause testicular cancer but can make a big difference with an overly tannic Bordeaux you don't want to wait on.

You heard me.


3:20 PM  
Anonymous harv said...

Yo Fresh,

Latest on da ring, as of Nov 10/05:

Thank for your email - we are currently re-tooling that device and should have that item available within the next few weeks - genrally that item, as well as our other consumer products shown on our consumer website are sold direct o the public from our facility in PA, USA - I do not know of any Canadian distributors handling that product as the bulk of our distributors are involved in Commercial / Industrial applications.

If you would like to be placed on our product availability list for that item (we have a curiously strong demand for that product), we will be happy to notify you when the FR becomes available again.

The product cost is USD 49.95 + s/h -
If you have specific questions yo may contact Doug Greene / Sales Manager, a 215 249 1200 ext 118 or email

9:25 AM  
Blogger Deacon Dr. Fresh said...

Yo Harvmeister:

Thanks for the info. When will these white bread crackerheads realize the power of the magnetic field?


10:13 AM  

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